My Kitchen Rules – Sunday 7pm on Seven/ House Rules – Monday 7.30pm on Seven/ Masterchef – Monday 7.30pm on Ten
It is FINALLY the Grand Final for the cooking show that goes for so long, even the contestants tell the press they can’t keep up. This year it has been knocked around in the ratings by Nine’s Married At First Sight and The Voice but it’s still the biggest show of the year, despite the getting-predictable casting and Paleo Pete’s getting-wackier ideas. MKR will be replaced on Monday by House Rules, which will introduce two new judges (Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen and Drew Heath) while MasterChef keeps its judging panel exactly as it has been every year beforehand. Result – MasterChef will probably win again.
Grantchester – Sunday 8.30pm on ABC/ The Witness For The Prosecution – Sunday 8.30pm on BBC First
Two British dramas go head to head in the same timeslot with the ABC getting a third fast-tracked series of the ITV vicar (James Norton) and detective (Robson Green) murder mystery, while Foxtel airs BBC One’s two-part special that aired last Christmas (not very fast-tracked at all). Prosecution got about 7 million Brit viewers while Grantchester had about 4 million viewers last week in the UK, clashing in the timeslot with the top-rating BBC drama Line Of Duty. Critics loved the new remake of Prosecution, which is based on Agatha Christie’s original short story, while Grantchester gets off to a cracking start by drowning a man… in the middle of a church.
TBA – Monday 9pm on Nine
Ok, Nine, I am officially confused – TV Week said the Stayin’ Alive: Grammy Salute To The Bee Gees (celebrating the 40th anniversary of Saturday Night Fever) would screen here next week. Then TV Tonight said the Madonna: Rebel Heart Tour would replace it (with Stayin’ Alive moving to Wednesday). Now the Freeview guide says this slot will air something called Brit Icons: Elton John. WTF? At this rate, even that might be replaced by the BBC’s upcoming documentary about the 50th anniversary of “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”.
Love Child – Tuesday 9pm on Nine
It’s got a new night (Tuesday instead of Monday). It’s got a new set (with the hospital about to open a “new wing”). It’s got a new hot doctor (Dan Hamill replacing Jonathan LaPaglia). And no doubt Jessica Marais has a new love interest, now that she has been abandoned by Matthew Le Nevez, who seems incapable of sticking around any Aussie TV show after he has knocked up the Logie-winning blonde lead (see also: Asher Keddie on Offspring). This being a show about unwed mothers, there are also other new pregnant waifs in miniskirts, with an Italian runaway who doesn’t speak much English and a nun who says she has been impregnated… by God. The show is now set in 1972 so along with that heavily advertised nude beach scene, let’s hope the Kings Cross location features very seedy cinemas showing movies with the newly introduced R rating, and Gough Whitlam’s “It’s time” campaign to become Prime Minister later that year.