The Chaser’s special tribute to Alan Jones: You’ll laugh, you’ll cry

• New Chaser Report includes a special tribute to the broadcaster from Charles Firth

The Chaser’s podcasts have never disappointed and their new podcast being released today is another feast for fans.

Amongst the comedy is a collection of some of the clips you can guarantee that 2GB won’t play during the Festival of Alan across the next two weeks before his final Alan Jones show on Friday May 29. There is a special tribute to the broadcaster from Andrew Hansen.

Also on The Chaser podcast this week:

Who should you invite to your first dinner party as the lockdown restrictions ease? Dom takes a probing look at the man behind the anti-lockdown protests in Melbourne.

Plus, Charles examines the delicate art of winning an argument with your partner while in lockdown.

All that, plus the latest Chaser headlines from Rebecca De Unanumo in the Chaser International Global World newsroom.

Here is a transcript of the Alan Jones clip package, but the words don’t do it justice.

Listen to the audio here:

Alan Jones, you were always the gentleman:
Oh fuck this!

An understanding man, even when you were given the wrong instructions:
I don’t understand why my life should be made a fucking misery because I’m not given the right instructions.

A man of great reverence, even when there was dust in the studio:
There’s fucking dust in this studio.

Someone who never felt threatened by powerful women, whether it was Julia Gillard:
Don’t have that lying bitch on your program again, I had to move the dial to another station.

Or Jacinda Ardern:
Shove a sock down her throat. She is a joke this woman. An absolute and utter light-weight.

Or even Clover Moore:
Put her in the same chaff bag as Julia Gillard and throw them both out to sea.

A delight to work with:
Oh, god. Nothing is working today.

You were a ray of sunshine:
Jesus I hope someone understands how fucking irritated I am by this.

A people person:
Whoever wrote that ought to be given a hot knife.

Kind to all:
Preferably across the lower part of the throat. Dreadful.

Not to mention a wordsmith:
Fuck me dead.

Alan Jones, your flawless professionalism will be missed:
Shit! I have to start again… I don’t give a fuck. I’m not doing this again.

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