With names like Matt Shrivington, Dr Chris Brown, and Stan Grant being tossed around as potential replacements for David ‘Kochie’ Koch, Nova’s Ben, Liam & Belle have thrown another name into the ring – the Sunrise Cash Cow.
“Your 9am is here, Ray – the Cash Cow” Belle begins in the skit posted to the trio’s Instagram account.
Cutting to a board room, Ray the Cash Cow takes his head off, revealing Liam who tells Ben “I want the top job.”
“I’m a laughingstock, my wife left me, I get paid 15 grand per annum including super. I’m a man in a f*cking cow suit!” he continues.
“I appreciate you’re upset, but with Kochie leaving, the steaks have never been higher,” Ben replies in the first of many cow puns.
But Liam the Cash Cow refuses to give up. “I have given everything to this role. Have you ever vomited in a cow suit from heatstroke after a live cross in Coober Pedy? I have!”
As the skit gets heated, Ben tells the cow “Enough! You’re never going to be Koshi, you’re always going to be the Cash Cow. But as a show of faith, we will… beef up your paycheck.”
Putting the cash cow head back on, Liam leaves the boardroom with “How’s this for tomorrow’s code word… f*ck you!”
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Kochie will step away from the Sunrise desk in two weeks as the longest-serving breakfast television host in Australian history, having broadcast a record 16,000 hours of live TV across more than 5300 shows and some 50,000 interviews.
“I have loved every single minute of my time at Sunrise, and I’m incredibly proud of what we’ve achieved over the last 21 years,” Kochie said. “I’ve been privileged to experience so many adventures, to meet so many incredible people and to cover so many moments of history in the making. It really is the world’s best job,” he said on Monday as he announced his departure.