This Mediaweek contributor has requested anonymity
Hi Abbie,
I’m writing this anonymously as I’m a journo and I don’t want it to seem I’m seeking personal attention.
This is genuinely for you and the public; for once, it’s not about me.
I’ve been watching the media’s treatment of you this year, and it’s bloody appalling. You’ve called it a “smear campaign”, and I absolutely agree.
Your Instagram post last night (see below), in which you were “begging these people to leave me alone for just one month,” was heartbreaking.
So I wanted to let you know you are supported by some of us, and send a strong message to the public that even insiders can see what they’re doing to you.
You first got my attention on The Bachelor in 2019, where some other contestants were clutching their pearls and disliked you for being ‘forward’. But I watched in fascination, because it was glorious.
I thought, here’s a woman who is unapologetically being herself, doing it for herself. In a way that I as a people-pleasing Gen X would never have been brave enough to do.
It’s been your m.o. in everything you’ve done since.
I know you have some ‘privileges’ in life that I don’t have – such as being white, and “really, really ridiculously good-looking” (a reference from a 90s movie that shows my age). Those things matter in media, and may have contributed to your confidence without you realising – but unlike so many others on socials, you’ve tried to use your platform for good.
So as part of a minority group in society (I won’t identify myself here, though), I envy you. You’ve been living the media life I wanted to for years. Speaking your truth, shaking things up, saying what others (like myself) can’t or won’t.
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Yes, you’ve sometimes said the ‘wrong’ thing – but so have I in a personal setting. I take the joke too far, or say weird things out of context, or am too familiar with people I’ve just met (with what I say, not physically, obvs).
It’s a human trait that many don’t acknowledge in themselves – and so when someone with your level of exposure takes a controversial stance, or f**ks up, they won’t let it go.
No matter how much you educate yourself, self-reflect and apologise.
This year in particular, I’ve seen that backlash against you pile up. But in true Abbie style, you’ve called them out. You refuse to be silenced – as evidenced especially by the announcement of your national speaking tour.
It’s inspired me. I’m now confident enough to entertain the idea of my own platform where I can express myself and finally be authentically me in a way I haven’t felt I could until now.
As they say, “opinions are like a**holes, and everyone’s got one” – which applies especially to the ones who won’t look in the mirror as they tear people down.
Thank you, Abbie, for being you and sending a clear message to all women that authenticity is bloody satisfying and worth it.
Love, A secret admirer (awkward, but true)