Some might question how on earth this story qualifies for inclusion in Mediaweek.
So let us explain: given that it balances on the threshold – or perhaps licks the doorknob – stories are required to cross before being deemed ‘Mediaweek-esque enough’, it passes the editorial test.
More to the point, speaking of knobs, 20-year-old Braden Peters, who goes by the name ‘Clavicular’, is an online influencer known for giving dangerous and ethically questionable advice on how men can improve their appearance, otherwise known as ‘looksmaxxing’.
Recently, Peters was charged over the shooting of a dead alligator because nothing says Alpha Male like shooting a dead animal.
Two forms of justice were handed down to Peters over the weekend. The first was his actual sentence – probation, community service and wildlife safety courses – and the second was that he was out-mogged by the very man delivering that sentence: the judge.
I enjoy the irony of Claivicular, the supposed number one “looksmaxxer” being absolutely mogged by the Judge in his Miami case. pic.twitter.com/7vgYevQabg
— Legal Mindset (@TheLegalMindset) May 16, 2026
Social media users lost their minds when a vision of the sentencing was released, with one user on X writing: “Whoever assigns cases to judges absolutely did this on purpose. They were like, ‘Who is the best-looking judge in the district? That’s who’s getting this case.”
The judge in question is Justice Marcus Bach Armas, and no, he does not have social media (but he does have LinkedIn. You’re welcome).
It’s not the first time the looksmaxxer has been out-mogged (Samuel Johnson wept) by an older man whose life does not revolve around their appearance.
In the first instance, he went toe-to-toe with Australian 60 Minutes reporter Adam Hegarty, who appeared largely unfazed by the exchange.
The influencer went viral across mainstream media headlines after storming off set following what he appeared to view as the most triggering question of his life from Hegarty: whether he identified as an incel, linking his involvement in the “manosphere” to Andrew Tate.
Peters responded: “I see you want to make this political.
“Too bad I didn’t have time to look into, you know, anything about potentially, you know, who your wife cheated with, but don’t try to go down that line of questioning with me.”
Hegarty replied: “I’m not married, Clav.”
Peters shot back: “I could teach you about looksmaxxing, and then maybe you could switch that up. Thanks for the time, appreciate the interview,” before walking off.
Perhaps the real lesson here is that the internet’s increasingly deranged obsession with symmetry, jawlines and “mogging” continues to collide with an inconvenient truth: intellect, competence and self-possession remain deeply attractive qualities.
And unfortunately for Peters, no amount of “looksmaxxing” can compete with the quiet confidence of a judge delivering your sentence – or a reporter calmly letting you self-destruct on national television.
Main image: Justice Marcus Bach Armas and Braden Peters