Somewhere between a speed date and a sunburnt prayer, Australian television’s most earnest love experiment returned for another season – and it did not disappoint.
Farmer Wants A Wife kicked off its new season on Channel 7 and 7plus on Monday night, with host Natalie Gruzlewski shepherding five new farmers through a very particular brand of nervous energy.
This year’s lineup: Farmer Alex, 28, from Kin Kin in Queensland; Farmer Dylan, 24, from Cherry Gardens in Victoria; Farmer Jarrad, 41, from Taylorville in South Australia; Farmer Jason, 37, from Coolabunia in Queensland; and Farmer Zac, 24, from Forest Range in South Australia.
Speed dating, blindfolds, and blushing
Monday’s episode centred on Alex, Dylan, and Jason, who each sat down for a round of speed dates with women who had spotted their profiles online and decided – yes, actually, a man who can perform a bovine rectal palpation with aplomb is exactly what they were looking for.
Dylan’s highlight reel began early. Twenty-three-year-old chocolate shop assistant Ally arrived and, apparently deciding that subtlety was overrated, deployed a blindfold as an icebreaker.
It worked.
“She’s gorgeous. She’s got real pretty eyes. I’m blushing,” Dylan said, visibly blushing.
Alex, meanwhile, experienced what the show’s producers presumably dream of every casting season: genuine, instantaneous chemistry. The moment he laid eyes on 24-year-old event manager Suzannah, the decision appeared to be made.
“From the moment that I saw Suzannah, I knew that she’s my type straight away,” he said.
Jason, 37 and perhaps the most quietly composed of the three, met 28-year-old vet Beth and came away equally convinced.
“Very bubbly, fun person. She’s what I’m looking for. We got on really well,” he said.
After the speed dates wrapped and the awkward laughter settled, the three farmers each selected five women to invite back to their farms – the next chapter in a process that is, in equal measure, deeply old-fashioned and oddly moving.
Farmer Alex’s five: Delia, Eddy, Gabbie, Rachel, and Suzannah.
Farmer Dylan’s five: Ally, Lily, Renae, Scarlett, and Tenille.
Farmer Jason’s five: Beth, Jessica, Jessie, Logan, and Poppy.
Farmers Alex, Jarrad, Dylan, Zac and Jason
Up next
Tuesday night brings Zac and Jarrad – apple grower and single dad, respectively – into the mix, as they meet their potential partners and make their own selections.
All five farmers will then head home with one woman chosen for a first 24-hour date, complete with intimate dinners and whatever romantic gestures the Australian countryside can muster.
Farmer Wants A Wife continues at 7:30pm Tuesday on Seven and 7plus.